don't give unsolicited feedback
I left work today feeling pretty annoyed and, behind my annoyance, hurt and insecure.
Near the end of the workday, I was chatting with a coworker and was commiserating about [a specific work-related task]. I was just trying to complain about [the specific work-related task] to someone who also has experience with [the task] and understands its unique challenges.
But, out of nowhere, she says, "Well, I think you put too much focus on [other work-related task]." First off, I was not really looking for judgment or feedback about my performance (from a peer, no less). I thought we were doing the thing coworkers do with one another: complaining about work. It just felt weird to receive this judgment out of nowhere. Like, I caught a stray bullet flying out of my coworker's brain.
Again, I was just commiserating, not asking for help or an evaluation of my work performance overall. It was strange and weird and got me in my head. Now I feel less than for struggling with [the task] and also defensive about [the other work-related task]. :/
I've redacted the specifics of the stupid tasks because they're specific to my work and actually don't matter. But for anyone reading this, please don't share uninvited feedback or critiques with people!!
This situation is now making me want to master both tasks out of spite. (¬_¬")